Why I USED to envy married moms

A few mommy bloggers blogged about Appreciating what you have and not wanting what others have as you don’t know what battle their are fighting. This I must admit is something I used to struggle with and just reading the words made me realise how as much as I thought I had I was over wanting things, I still had a lot to deal with. But lets leave that for another post.

In the beginning I did it all alone, clinic visits, dr’s visits, waking up to feed, staying up all night with a sick baby, all alone. Now I understand and appreciate what single mothers go through.

I used to envy married mommies as they had partners to rub their feet after a long day, they had people who appreciated their cooking, someone to laugh and talk with and after putting the kids to sleep, someone to wash their backs when they couldn’t reach, someone to compliment them on their beautiful dresses. Its amazing how all I used to see and hear of was married couples living their lives and enjoying each other.I used to envy married moms A LOT and I would always ask myself what I did wrong to go through this ‘alone’? Kamva’s dad and I were together but in the beginning he lived in different town and then my parents had issues with him.

Things Have Changed:

Kamva’s dad and I recently started living together and by recently I mean recently As much we are still trying to get the swing of things, I am enjoying the little piece of freedom I have. Before when we were alone I used to wake up and get ready for work and then get Kamva up and ready for school and most of the time it was a rush just to get out the house on time. Now I leave the both of them at home and Tumelo gets her ready and takes her to school.

Nothing makes me happier to hear Kamva call him ‘tata’ and I love watching them play as rough as it may besometimes I really enjoy it. I love how they walk to the shops together during the weekends and how Kamva will ask only him to make her a bottle I love how he dresses her in the most prettiest of dresses for school and see nothing wrong with that I love how he will change the most runniest of poo nappies and not even pull a face.

I love the relationship they have and not sure if it makes sense but I love how they love each other

<Not the best of pictures>

P.S I may not be married yet but we slowly but surely getting there.

Lots of love

I died of Shame – something to make you laugh

I got this email this morning and it made me laugh

 

Annie, 6 years old, gets home from school. She had her first family planning lesson at school.

Her mother, very interested, asks;” How did it go?”

“I died of shame!” She answers !

Koos from over the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Piet in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.

Her mother answers laughingly “But that’s no reason to be ashamed?”

“No, but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that daddy had to make me himself!”

 

 

Nursery Rhymes,ABCs and school

Kamva loves going to school, from the beginning she loved it. The last month or so she has been singing all these nursery rhymes for us and saying her abc’s.<Insert proud mommy smile here> Last night she sang a song which she hadn’t sang before and when I started singing with her she stopped singing and looked at me with such a big smile on her face  The song was ’12345 Once I caught a fish I like’  Since I remember all these nursery rhymes it proves my theory that I was really meant to be a nursery school teacher, if it will ever happen well that remains to be seen.

<Every time we mention the names of the children in her class or her teachers, her face lights up.  I think they are all on her list of people she admires >

Some of the things Kamva has learnt from school in the last 6 months she’s been there :

• Answering questions like ‘What’s your name? How old are you?”
• Singing nursery rhymes – too many to mention
• Speaking basic English e.g saying her bottle is finished, pointing and naming everyday things
• Packing up her toys after playing as soon as I say it
• Feeding herself
• ‘Reading’ books to me
• Saying her abc’s – some letters you can’t make out ye
• Counting

I am beyond proud and have realised there is no need to compare her with children her  age as she is doing well and is becoming her own little person

 

 

Lots of love

Moving forward...

Reblogged from One of The Boys:

This line, from Kelle Hampton’s most recent blog post, really struck a chord this morning:

You can’t effectively move forward in life unless you have those moments of letting yourself feel the darker side of reality once in a while. I do that, you know. Maybe not publicly every time, but I’m human (if you don’t count the unicorn gene).

Read more… 112 more words

And ALWAYS remember to be nice to people – because EVERYONE is working through some sort of battle

Where Are The Fathers?

I have a favourite song and thought I would share it today

I have put the lyrics too for those who can’t listen.  Enjoy

 

Song is ‘Where Are the fathers’ by Israel Houghton

 

 

I finally got into the hotel room, it must have been mid day
Started flipping through the channels, just to kind of drift away
Every other network, show the challenged and abused
And sea of people laughing as the children sat confused

And I saw a mother pleading, with her son to turn away
From the lifestyle he had chosen, full of violence and hate
As the conversation heated, my mind began to race
Somebody’s missing, something’s badly out of place

Chorus
Where are the fathers, the responsible ones
Where are the fathers, have they helped to raise their sons
Look at the daughters, do you see the violation
Do you need more demonstration
Are you really even bothered
Tell me where, where are the fathers

Well then I went downstairs to visit with a friend of many years
And in just a few short seconds, he exploded into tears
Slowly he unraveled, a lifetime packed with pain
I asked him for specifics, He attempted to explain

He said his wife and children says he’s out of control
And it’s adding to the growing scars fully branded on his soul
Suddenly I asked him, about the conflict with his dad
And he didn’t have to say a word, His troubled face just said

Chorus
Where are the fathers, the responsible ones
Where are the fathers, have they helped to raise their sons
Look at the daughters, do you see the violation
Do you need more demonstration
Are you really even bothered
Tell me where, where are the fathers

Somebody tell me, I want to know
Got to know…. Ooooo

An now I standing in your presence, you compassion is so strong
And I’ve wondered how I’ve managed, without you for so long
All I’ve ever needed, Is right here in your watch
Oh daddy I’m so grateful, here my heart inside this song

You are the father, the responsible one
You are the father, and I’m so glad to be your son
Now I have daughters, and everyday’s a celebration
They are free of violation
All because you took the time to bother
All because you took the time to bother
All because you gave you life to bother
I’m so glad, glad you are my father

 

Love of love

Weekend Round Up

“Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them.”

John Shirley

What a great weekend we had

On Saturday we went to Papachino’s with Sam and Cayleb. We hadn’t seen Sam this year so it was great to chat and catch up. Sam has been raving about Papachino’s for a while and now know why. WHat a lovely place to take the kids too, they have a huge play area and they have bikes, scooters,ride ons,colouring in corners,pizza making for kids and really great child minders.One thing I think I loved the most about this place is that all you pay for is the food you eat and of course tip the child minders. You can spend hours there and know your kids are having fun. Brilliant combination right?

Kamva fell in love with the play area and Cayleb was her ‘guardian angel’ and held her hand every chance he got and acted like the big brother. Kamva on the other hand did not want her hand held and would come crying and say ‘mama Tayleb’ which was very cute

After the lunch we went to Sam’s place to relax a bit before going home and Cayleb was sitting on the couch with a folder and Kamva came and tried to take the folder and Cayleb in a very serious tone told Kamva ‘I am busy working here’ that little boy is too funny.

Sunday morning we went to Victory Park for our photoshoot with Cilla which we won on Tanya’s blog. When they say Cilla is really patient with children its true, Kamva was not in the smiley,laughing mood but Cilla had patience and Kamva eventually gave in and started looking for Pooh and Kitty in the camera lens. I can’t wait to see the pictures Victory Park is also a gem of a place, it has a play area and lots of grass to play in. Worth visiting again

Shoot outfit

Sunday afternoon it was really hot and Kamva was nappyless for most part of the afternoon and she was dry for up to an hour so maybe its time we really started with the potty train. She now makes a pooh at about 7 in the mornnig and also at about 5 when she comes home from school.(Sorry tmi mommy stuff) I think this month I need to get some huggies pull ups.

We had a good weekend

<Pictures from our weekend>

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P.S How was your weekend?

Lots of love

 

Will I ever get the hang of this parenting thing?

Sometimes I wonder if I really know what I am doing when it comes raising Kamva. I have people helping me along the way but do I as her mother really know what I am doing?

I know one thing I battle with is discipline and I was reading one of my favourite blogs last night, epic parent, and it was about Bad Parenting. The thing that stood out for me in the four parenting mistakes parents make was the one about being a whimp:

The wimpy parent shies away from asserting her values, opinions, rules and let’s the child run the household. Wimpy parents typically believe that punishing, scolding or setting boundaries harms their kids self esteem. They also believe they are called to “work deals” and compromise and the more “gifts” a parent gives…the better the parent. Wimpy parents are also the people that have come up with the “let’s not keep score” and “everyone deserves a trophy” mentality. Can I just say that mentality makes me sick!!! Parents, it’s time to grow a set, set firm boundaries, discipline your children and teach them that second place is the first looser! (just kidding about the last one…stole that one from Ricky Bobby)

I shy away from disciplining yes I shout at times and a smack here and there but that’s about it, I have not even tried the naughty corner like I said I would. I don’t know why I can’t discpline, maybe because I am generally soft person but I wonder if I am not ruining my poor child?

I also fall under the ‘Its all about me catergory’

Because It’s All About ME: As I reflect back on my parenting journey, I must confess that many of my decisions are based on what is convenient for ME. I will play lego’s, when it is convenient for ME. I will go snowboarding, when it’s convenient for ME. I will have devotionals, when it is convenient for ME. I say “NO” more than “YES”, because “NO” is more convenient for ME. And where in Scripture does is say that life is all about ME!!?!

This I think will be a difficult one to ‘over come’ as much Kamva talk and talks, we still have some frustrations where she can’t verbalise what she wants or what she wants me to do and I don’t always do what she wants like draw ‘fowfers(flowers)’ or play ball with her when she wants. So from now I am going to try this, when she brings a ball to play with I will stop what I am doing and play with her, I know it won’t be easy in the beginning but think eventually it will become something I get used to.

Two years later and I am still trying to get the hang of this parenting thing and willing to try aything to get at least some of it right. This is me trying to be a better parent to my Miss K.

P.S To read the rest of the blog go here

 

Lots of love

Wordless Wednesday – My Blast from the past

My blast from the past

Retro?

Million Dollar Smile

Lots of love

Love is . . .

“Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, “

–Paul in The Holy Bible, I Corinthians 13:4-7

 

 

P.S Happy Valentines day

Weekend Round Up

There is little chance that meteorologists can solve the mysteries of weather until they gain an understanding of the mutual attraction of rain and weekends. ~ Arnot Sheppard

Friday evening was very relaxed, I came home and Thando was asleep and well Miss K was awake as usual.  Miss K and her dad caught up on some ‘reading’,while I took a long bath by myself with the door closed. You never realise how much you miss the little things when you have little people running around.We sat around watching tv and eventually went to bed early <Thando woke up the next morning>

Saturday we woke up and the weather was miserable, raining and cold.No chance of the kids playing outside, so I put the tv on to entertain them and secretly hoping it would baby sit them while I napped a bit(Bad bad mommy I know) as I had woken up early but Miss K kept coming to ‘check’ on me every ten minutes or so and she kept yanking my eye lids open and saying ‘watey watey mama’ and then she would run out the room giggling and go play with Thando.When I was awake Miss K did not come check on me once, I guess she doesn’t like sleeping mommy. <Every time Thando comes over for the weekend I seldom see Miss K cause she is so in love with Thando everything is about Thando and she imitates everything Thando says and does. It’s cute but in Thando’s world Kamva is a girl and he is a boy. > At night Kamva did not wake up and want a bottle and I assumed she was just tired as she hadn’t napped at all during the day.

Sunday we woke up to a beautiful day Sun was out and it was warm. We had a relaxed day and some family came to visit which was nice. I also managed to get all the knots out of Kamva’s hair, had been putting it off during the week. We had to bribe her with ice lollies and chips just to get her to allow me to touch her head. Thando and Miss K got a chance to use up all the energy they had from Saturday by playing ball outside.When it eventually was doodoo time they both passed out  I also tried potty training and Miss K was nappy less for most of the day  But will have to write a separate post about that later

Afro all tamed

Doodoo time

We had a very quiet and relaxed weekend but I still managed to wake up tired.

P.S How was your weekend?

Lots of Love