Will I ever get the hang of this parenting thing?

Sometimes I wonder if I really know what I am doing when it comes raising Kamva. I have people helping me along the way but do I as her mother really know what I am doing?

I know one thing I battle with is discipline and I was reading one of my favourite blogs last night, epic parent, and it was about Bad Parenting. The thing that stood out for me in the four parenting mistakes parents make was the one about being a whimp:

The wimpy parent shies away from asserting her values, opinions, rules and let’s the child run the household. Wimpy parents typically believe that punishing, scolding or setting boundaries harms their kids self esteem. They also believe they are called to “work deals” and compromise and the more “gifts” a parent gives…the better the parent. Wimpy parents are also the people that have come up with the “let’s not keep score” and “everyone deserves a trophy” mentality. Can I just say that mentality makes me sick!!! Parents, it’s time to grow a set, set firm boundaries, discipline your children and teach them that second place is the first looser! (just kidding about the last one…stole that one from Ricky Bobby)

I shy away from disciplining yes I shout at times and a smack here and there but that’s about it, I have not even tried the naughty corner like I said I would. I don’t know why I can’t discpline, maybe because I am generally soft person but I wonder if I am not ruining my poor child?

I also fall under the ‘Its all about me catergory’

Because It’s All About ME: As I reflect back on my parenting journey, I must confess that many of my decisions are based on what is convenient for ME. I will play lego’s, when it is convenient for ME. I will go snowboarding, when it’s convenient for ME. I will have devotionals, when it is convenient for ME. I say “NO” more than “YES”, because “NO” is more convenient for ME. And where in Scripture does is say that life is all about ME!!?!

This I think will be a difficult one to ‘over come’ as much Kamva talk and talks, we still have some frustrations where she can’t verbalise what she wants or what she wants me to do and I don’t always do what she wants like draw ‘fowfers(flowers)’ or play ball with her when she wants. So from now I am going to try this, when she brings a ball to play with I will stop what I am doing and play with her, I know it won’t be easy in the beginning but think eventually it will become something I get used to.

Two years later and I am still trying to get the hang of this parenting thing and willing to try aything to get at least some of it right. This is me trying to be a better parent to my Miss K.

P.S To read the rest of the blog go here

 

Lots of love

Sleepless nights,worries,forgiveness

Last couple of days have been a little crazy, I find myself awake at odd hours of the night and its  not noise or Miss K’s movement that wake me up, I just open my eyes and then find it difficult to sleep again. I look at the ceiling, read my timeline on twitter maybe check Facebook and then try sleep again.

Last night was particularly hard because I did not want to be awake as I was tired and tried countless times to sleep. I turned over and watched Miss K sleep and worry started to fill my mind

-would I be able to provide the best for her?

-Would I be able to protect her from all the bad things in the world?

-Am I raising her well and the choices I am making will they be for the best?

-I wonder will she fit in and have lots of GOOD friends?

-Will I be there to soothe her when she needs me?

-Will she have manners?

-Do I dress her cute enough? Yes I know how silly is this worry hey?

I eventually fell asleep while worrying. I woke up feeling rather off this morning cause this worry has started to fill my head of nonsense and I wanted it gone. Then I came across this bible verse and it has put my mind at ease:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

Matthew 6:25-27 New International Version

I then look back and realise I am doing the best I can RIGHT NOW, I know Miss K is a well adjusted toddler who like any other child has her naughty days. I just need to be less hard on myself and a little more forgiving

 

Lots of Love